Halloween and the Wisdom of Remembering Death
As October draws to a close and Halloween approaches, Western culture briefly flirts with mortality through costume parties, horror films and decorative skeletons. Yet beneath the commercialised festivities lies an ancient wisdom that many cultures have never forgotten: contemplating death enriches life. Halloween’s roots in the Celtic festival of Samhain and its connection to the Mexican Día de los Muertos remind us that our ancestors understood something modern society often forgets. Death is not merely an ending to be feared but a transition to be honoured, and the spaces where we rest and ultimately die deserve our thoughtful attention. This Halloween season offers an opportune moment to reflect on how we design our most intimate spaces, our bedrooms, not just for nightly rest but as sanctuaries supporting our journey through all of life’s transitions, including the final one.
The Bedroom as a Portal Between Worlds
The bedroom occupies a unique position in human experience. It is the space where we spend approximately one third of our lives, surrendering consciousness each night in the mysterious ritual of sleep. It is also, for many, the final earthly chamber where the transition from life to death occurs. This profound duality makes the bedroom perhaps the most significant room in our homes, yet it often receives far less attention than kitchens or living rooms in contemporary interior design discourse.
Feng shui, the ancient Chinese practice of harmonising individuals with their surrounding environment, originated not in the design of living spaces but in the careful siting of burial places. This origin reveals a fundamental truth: our ancestors understood that the quality of rest, whether in sleep or in death, profoundly affects wellbeing. For the living, this manifested as family prosperity; for the deceased, as ancestral peace. This intimate connection between the spaces we inhabit, the quality of our rest, and our broader wellbeing forms the foundation of feng shui philosophy and remains remarkably relevant to contemporary environmental psychology.
Cultural Perspectives on Death, Sleep and Sacred Spaces
Across cultures and throughout history, humanity has recognised the profound relationship between sleep and death. In Greek mythology, Hypnos (sleep) and Thanatos (death) are brothers, offspring of Nyx (night). This mythological kinship reflects a deeper understanding: sleep has long been described as a ‘little death’, a temporary surrender of conscious control and a journey into an altered state of being.
Mexican cultural traditions offer particularly rich insights into the sacred nature of bedrooms as spaces for both living and dying. In Mexican homes, bedrooms are not merely functional sleeping quarters but sacred spaces imbued with spiritual significance. When someone is dying, families create atmospheric environments around the deathbed using candles, rosaries and religious icons. These elements serve not only as comfort for the dying person but as spiritual guides for the soul’s transition. The Day of the Dead celebrations further illustrate this culture’s comfortable relationship with mortality, viewing death not as an ending but as a continuation of existence in a different form.
Similarly, many Chinese families historically maintained ancestral altars in their homes, believing that the peaceful rest of ancestors directly influenced the prosperity and wellbeing of living descendants. The original practice of feng shui involved selecting burial sites with optimal qi (life force energy) flow, ensuring that ancestors would rest peacefully and continue to bless their families. This practice was later extended to the design of living spaces, including bedrooms.
These cultural traditions share a common thread: the understanding that the spaces where we rest, sleep and ultimately die are not merely physical locations but portals between different states of consciousness and being. They require careful attention, respect and intentional design.
The Bedroom as Laboratory: Where Rest Meets Renewal
Modern sleep science has confirmed what ancient wisdom long suggested: the quality of our sleeping environment profoundly affects our physical health, psychological wellbeing and cognitive functioning. Research in environmental psychology demonstrates that bedroom configurations influence not only sleep quality but also psychological and physiological wellbeing more broadly.
The bedroom functions as a laboratory for daily renewal. During sleep, the body engages in essential repair processes: cellular regeneration, memory consolidation, hormonal regulation and immune system strengthening. The brain clears metabolic waste products that accumulate during waking hours. These processes require not just adequate sleep duration but quality sleep, which is significantly influenced by the bedroom environment.
Factors such as light exposure, air quality, temperature, noise levels, colour schemes and spatial organisation all affect sleep quality. However, feng shui principles extend beyond these measurable environmental variables to encompass more subtle energetic qualities. This holistic approach considers not just the physical bedroom environment but also its psychological and transpersonal dimensions.
Feng Shui Principles: Harmonising Energy for Rest and Transition
At its core, feng shui is about optimising the flow of qi, the vital life force energy that permeates all things. In bedroom design, this translates into creating environments that support both active rejuvenation during sleep and peaceful transition when death approaches.
The Command Position
One of the most fundamental feng shui principles involves bed placement in what is called the ‘command position’. The bed should be positioned so that whilst lying in it, one can see the door without being directly in line with it. This positioning creates a psychological sense of safety and control, allowing the nervous system to relax more completely during sleep. From an evolutionary psychology perspective, this makes intuitive sense: our ancestors who could monitor potential threats whilst resting had better survival outcomes.
Energy Flow and Circulation
Feng shui emphasises the importance of smooth energy circulation within a space. In bedrooms, this means avoiding clutter, ensuring adequate space around the bed and maintaining clear pathways. Blocked or stagnant energy is believed to contribute to restlessness, health issues and psychological distress. Contemporary environmental psychology supports this principle, with research demonstrating that cluttered environments increase stress hormones and impair cognitive functioning.
Balancing Yin and Yang
Bedrooms should predominantly embody yin qualities: darkness, quietness, stillness and receptivity. These qualities support rest, introspection and the surrendering of conscious control necessary for deep sleep. However, some yang energy (light, activity, alertness) remains necessary to prevent stagnation. Achieving this balance requires careful attention to colour schemes, lighting, furnishings and the overall atmosphere of the space.
The Five Elements
Feng shui incorporates the theory of five elements (wood, fire, earth, metal and water), each associated with particular qualities, colours and shapes. A balanced bedroom incorporates all five elements in harmonious proportions, though earth and metal elements often predominate due to their grounding and calming qualities. Wood elements support growth and renewal, whilst water elements encourage depth and introspection.
The Transpersonal Dimension: Bedrooms and Consciousness
Transpersonal psychology, which explores experiences and aspects of consciousness that extend beyond the individual ego, offers valuable insights into bedroom design. The bedroom is perhaps the primary space in modern homes where individuals regularly access transpersonal states of consciousness through sleep, dreams and, for some, meditation or spiritual practices.
Recent research into near-death experiences provides fascinating perspectives on consciousness and its relationship to physical space. Studies suggest that consciousness may not be produced by the brain but rather transmitted or filtered through it, much as a television receives but does not create broadcast signals. This transmission or filter theory, articulated by philosophers William James, F.C.S. Schiller and Henri Bergson over a century ago, has gained renewed attention following research into veridical out-of-body experiences during cardiac arrest.
If consciousness indeed extends beyond the physical brain, then the spaces we inhabit may interact with consciousness in ways not yet fully understood by conventional science. Feng shui principles, developed over millennia of observation and practice, may capture aspects of these interactions that modern instrumentation has yet to measure.
The bedroom, as a space of altered consciousness (through sleep) and potential transition (through death), may benefit particularly from design principles that account for these transpersonal dimensions. Creating environments that support not just physical rest but also psychological surrender, spiritual openness and peaceful transition becomes paramount.
Understanding Death as Transition
One of the most significant philosophical questions confronting humanity remains: what happens at physical death? Contemporary Western scientific materialism typically assumes that consciousness is produced by the brain and therefore that death represents complete extinction of the self. This assumption, however, rests on unexamined metaphysical presuppositions rather than conclusive evidence.
Alternative frameworks understand death not as extinction but as transition or transformation. This perspective, common in spiritual and philosophical traditions worldwide, finds some support in research on near-death experiences, deathbed visions, apparitions and other phenomena suggesting consciousness may survive bodily death. Whilst these areas remain contentious within mainstream science, they deserve serious consideration when contemplating how to design spaces for dying.
If death represents transition rather than extinction, then the bedroom environment during dying becomes crucial. Just as we carefully prepare nurseries for birth, perhaps we should thoughtfully prepare bedrooms for death. This preparation might include not just physical comfort but also atmospheric qualities that support peaceful transition: appropriate lighting, meaningful objects, sacred symbols and energetic harmony.
The unfold-refold cycle described in the philosophical work of figures like Walter Russell provides a useful metaphor. Just as plants unfold from seeds, grow, flower and eventually refold back into seeds for the next cycle, human beings may unfold from an invisible source at birth, develop through life and refold back into that source at death. The bedroom, as the space of both emergence (waking) and return (sleeping, dying), participates in these fundamental rhythms of existence.
Living Well to Die Well: Practical Wisdom from the Dying
Research into the experiences of the dying offers profound insights into living well. Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, documented the five most common regrets expressed by dying patients. These regrets included wishing they had lived more authentically, worked less hard, expressed feelings more openly, maintained friendships and allowed themselves greater happiness.
These regrets illuminate what truly matters in human life: authenticity, relationships, emotional expression and present-moment awareness. They suggest that preparing for death well involves living fully now rather than postponing genuine living for some future time. The bedroom, as a daily reminder of life’s impermanence through the ‘little death’ of sleep, can serve as a contemplative space encouraging such reflections.
Near-death experience research reveals consistent themes among those who have approached death and returned. Experiencers report profound encounters with unconditional love, feelings of interconnectedness, life reviews showing the effects of their actions on others and insights into life’s purpose centred on growing in love and wisdom. These experiences frequently result in reduced fear of death and increased engagement with life, with shifts from materialistic values towards spiritual values of being rather than having.
How to Die Successfully: The Art of a Good Death
The phrase ‘dying successfully’ might initially seem paradoxical or even darkly humorous, yet cultures throughout history have recognised that death, like birth, can be approached with varying degrees of grace and preparation. Studies consistently show that most people, when asked, express a preference to die at home in their own beds surrounded by loved ones rather than in clinical hospital settings. This preference speaks to something profound: we instinctively understand that the environment in which we take our final breaths matters deeply, not just for our own transition but for those we leave behind.
Traditional feng shui practitioners and spiritual healers across cultures have long understood that peaceful deaths in well-prepared spaces facilitate what might be called ‘clean’ departures. When someone dies in distress, confusion or in energetically chaotic environments, folklore suggests the spirit may linger, creating what we colloquially call ghosts or hauntings. Whilst sceptics may dismiss such notions, feng shui consultants and space clearers frequently report that properties where traumatic or unprepared deaths occurred often feel energetically disturbed until properly cleansed. Whether one interprets this as literal spirit attachment or as psychological imprints affecting subsequent occupants, the practical wisdom remains: creating bedroom environments that support peaceful, conscious transitions benefits everyone involved. A ‘successful’ death, then, might be understood as one where the dying person feels safe, comfortable and spiritually supported, allowing for a natural release rather than a frightened clinging. The bedroom designed with such transitions in mind becomes not a morbid space but one celebrating the full cycle of life, rest and renewal.
Where there is ‘other’, there is fear
This quote comes from the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad (1.4.2). It is one of the most profound statements on fear and duality in the Upanishadic tradition. This verse encapsulates a fundamental idea of Advaita Vedanta: fear arises only when there is a perceived separation – an “other.” In true non-dual awareness, where all is one (Brahman), fear has no ground to exist. The original Sanskrit phrase is:
“द्वितीयाद्वै भयम् भवति (dvitīyād vai bhayam bhavati)“
This translates as “From a second (entity), indeed, fear arises.”
In context, the Upanishad explains that Viraj, the primordial being, initially felt fear when he experienced himself as separate. But the moment he realised “If there is nothing other than myself, what is there to fear?”, his fear vanished. The verse asserts that fear originates only when there is the perception of another — the appearance of duality. When one perceives only unity, or non-duality (Advaita), fear ceases to exist.
In essence, this passage captures a central Vedantic insight: fear is born of duality, and freedom from fear comes only through the realisation of oneness (Brahman).
Both psychology and philosophy converge on the insight that fear is relational and arises when unity fractures into duality – whether as the infant’s separation from its caregiver, the ego’s isolation from being, or the subject’s awareness of “the other.” This makes the Upanishadic dictum dvitīyād vai bhayam bhavati not merely mystical but deeply psychological: to experience fear is to experience oneself as separate.
The Upanishadic statement dvitīyād vai bhayam bhavati (“from duality, indeed, fear arises”) resonates deeply with both psychological and philosophical traditions, which similarly link fear to experiences of separation, division, or duality.
Psychological Insights
In psychology, fear is increasingly understood not as a simple reflex, but as a relational and cognitive phenomenon. Thinkers such as Joseph LeDoux and Lisa Feldman-Barrett describe fear as psychologically constructed, shaped by both innate neural mechanisms and learned interpretations of threat within social contexts. John Bowlby’s attachment theory likewise interprets fear as emerging from separation anxiety – the distress that follows disruption of the infant’s unity with the caregiver.
In relational psychology, Campbell’s (2022) notion of the relational calibration of fear shows that fear is socially transmitted and mirrored in others, demonstrating how the other becomes embedded in the self as a source of potential harm. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung framed fear as a conflict between inner dualities: for Freud, the tension between id, ego, and superego; for Jung, the confrontation with the shadow, or the hidden “other” within. Across these perspectives, the self’s fragmentation sustains ongoing anxiety.
Philosophical Insights
In philosophy, existential and phenomenological thought reaches congruent conclusions. Martin Heidegger’s angst is not directed at any external object but arises from the isolation of being-in-the-world, an existential experience of estrangement from Being. Søren Kierkegaard, in Fear and Trembling, portrays fear as the human consciousness of separation from the Absolute, the anxiety of standing alone before God.
René Descartes’ dualism between mind and body inaugurated a metaphysical split later criticised by David Chalmers and Thomas Nagel, whose work underscores how this separation engenders alienation within consciousness itself. Non-dual philosophies, especially Advaita Vedanta, propose that fearlessness – abhayam – arises only when this perceived separation dissolves and self merges with totality.
Integrative View
Across both disciplines, thinkers such as LeDoux, Feldman-Barrett, Bowlby, Jung, Heidegger, Kierkegaard, Descartes, and Chalmers ultimately converge on the same insight: fear arises when consciousness perceives division – between self and other, mind and world, or ego/becoming and Being. The Upanishadic aphorism, therefore, elegantly anticipates this modern synthesis. In psychological terms, unity dissolves fear by restoring relational coherence; in philosophical terms, it abolishes existential alienation.
In short, to transcend fear is, simply, to transcend duality.
Memento Mori, “To This Favour” 1879 William Michael Harnett (American, 1848–1892)
The Psychology of Mortality and Space
Terror management theory in psychology explores how awareness of mortality influences human behaviour and psychology. Research demonstrates that death anxiety often remains unconscious, manifesting as various defensive behaviours, achievement striving and materialism. Creating bedroom spaces that allow conscious, peaceful contemplation of mortality, rather than avoidance, may support psychological health and authentic living.
The bedroom can function as a space of memento mori, the practice of contemplating mortality not to induce morbidity but to clarify values and inspire authentic living. This might involve incorporating meaningful objects, creating meditation spaces or simply designing the room to support reflective quietness. Such practices align with wisdom traditions worldwide that encourage contemplating impermanence as a path to liberation from suffering and fuller engagement with life.
Environmental psychology research confirms that our surroundings significantly affect psychological states. Bedrooms designed with intentionality can support not just physical rest but also psychological integration, spiritual development and philosophical contemplation. The bedroom becomes not merely a sleeping space but a sanctuary supporting the full spectrum of human consciousness and experience.
Practical Feng Shui Advice for Optimising Your Bedroom
Having explored the philosophical and cultural dimensions of bedroom design, let us turn to practical applications. The following recommendations synthesise feng shui wisdom with contemporary environmental psychology to create bedrooms supporting rest, renewal and, ultimately, peaceful transition.
Bed Placement and Positioning
Position your bed in the command position: diagonally opposite the door, with a solid wall behind the headboard but with clear views of the door and windows. Avoid placing the bed directly in line with the door or under overhead beams, as both create psychological and energetic stress. Ensure adequate space on both sides of the bed for balanced energy flow. If sleeping with a partner, equal access to both sides supports relationship harmony.
Colour Selection
Choose colours with predominantly yin qualities: soft earth tones (beige, terracotta, warm greys), gentle blues, muted greens or pale lavenders. These colours promote relaxation and receptivity. Avoid overly stimulating colours like bright reds or harsh oranges, which activate rather than calm the nervous system. However, incorporate small touches of warmer colours through textiles or artwork to prevent excessive coldness or stagnation.
Lighting Design
Install multiple lighting sources at different levels, allowing you to adjust brightness according to need. Harsh overhead lighting disrupts yin energy; instead, use softer lamps with warm-toned bulbs. Consider dimmer switches for gradual transitions between day and night. Blackout curtains or blinds support melatonin production and deep sleep by blocking external light pollution. Avoid blue light from electronic devices at least one hour before sleep.
Decluttering and Organisation
Remove clutter, particularly from under the bed, as it blocks energy flow and symbolically burdens the unconscious mind during sleep. Ensure wardrobes and storage spaces are organised, as chaotic hidden areas create subtle psychological stress. Keep bedside tables minimal, with only essential items. The bedroom should feel spacious and peaceful rather than crowded or overwhelming.
Air Quality and Freshness
Maintain good air circulation by opening windows regularly. Consider air-purifying plants such as snake plants or peace lilies, though avoid having too many plants in the bedroom as they can create excessive yang energy. Ensure mattresses and bedding are made from natural, breathable materials. Use essential oils like lavender sparingly to support relaxation, but avoid overwhelming scents.
Mirror Placement
Feng shui traditionally recommends avoiding mirrors directly facing the bed, as they are believed to bounce energy back, potentially disturbing sleep. If you must have mirrors in the bedroom, position them where they do not reflect the bed or cover them at night. Large mirrors can also create a sense of restlessness by doubling the visual complexity of the space.
Electronic Devices
Minimise electronic devices in the bedroom. If you must have them, keep them as far from the bed as possible and switch them off completely at night. The electromagnetic fields generated by devices may disrupt sleep quality, whilst the psychological association between beds and screens (work, entertainment, stimulation) undermines the bedroom’s role as a sanctuary for rest. Consider charging phones outside the bedroom to avoid temptation and disturbance.
Artwork and Symbolism
Choose artwork that evokes peace, harmony and positive emotions. Avoid images depicting violence, chaos or sadness, as these subtly influence the unconscious mind during sleep. Personal photographs can be appropriate if they evoke joy and connection, but avoid images creating feelings of longing, regret or sadness. Consider incorporating symbols personally meaningful for spiritual or contemplative practice.
Natural Elements
Incorporate natural materials: wooden furniture, cotton or linen bedding, wool rugs and stone elements. These materials connect us to the natural world and support balanced energy. Avoid excessive synthetic materials, which can feel energetically ‘dead’ and may off-gas chemicals affecting air quality. Natural materials also tend to regulate temperature and humidity more effectively.
Headboard Selection
Choose a solid, substantial headboard attached to the bed frame. This provides psychological and energetic grounding, offering symbolic support during the vulnerable state of sleep. The headboard should be comfortable to lean against and aesthetically pleasing. Avoid headboards with bars or excessive ornamentation that might create visual complexity or psychological agitation.
Temperature Regulation
Maintain bedroom temperature between 16 and 19 degrees Celsius for optimal sleep. This cooler temperature supports the body’s natural temperature drop associated with sleep onset. Use natural fibre bedding that breathes well and can be layered according to seasonal needs. Good temperature regulation supports both sleep quality and the body’s natural circadian rhythms.
Sound Management
If possible, choose bedrooms away from external noise sources. For urban environments, consider double-glazed windows or white noise machines to mask disruptive sounds. However, some gentle natural sounds (distant waves, soft rain, rustling leaves) can support relaxation. The key is avoiding jarring, unpredictable noises that activate the nervous system’s threat detection mechanisms.
Creating Sacred Space
Consider designating a small area of the bedroom for contemplative practice: meditation, prayer, journal writing or simply sitting quietly. This might involve a comfortable chair, cushion or small table with meaningful objects. Having such space reinforces the bedroom’s role beyond mere sleeping quarters, supporting psychological integration and spiritual development.
Seasonal Adjustments
Adapt the bedroom according to seasons. In winter, incorporate warmer colours through textiles, ensure adequate warmth and perhaps use heavier curtains for extended darkness. In summer, lighten colour schemes, improve ventilation and use lighter bedding. These adjustments keep the space energetically responsive rather than static, mirroring natural cycles.
Personal Meaning and Intuition
Whilst feng shui principles provide valuable guidelines, ultimately your bedroom should reflect your personal aesthetics and support your individual needs. Pay attention to how different arrangements make you feel. If something feels wrong energetically, trust that intuition and experiment with alternatives. The goal is creating a space where you feel safe, peaceful and supported.
Conclusion: The Bedroom as Teacher
The bedroom, properly understood and intentionally designed, becomes far more than a utilitarian sleeping space. It serves as a daily teacher of life’s fundamental rhythms: activity and rest, consciousness and unconsciousness, attachment and surrender. Each night, as we lie down to sleep, we rehearse the ultimate surrender required at death. Each morning, as we wake, we practise the emergence into life and consciousness.
Feng shui wisdom, developed over millennia and now supported by contemporary environmental psychology research, offers practical guidance for creating bedroom environments supporting not just physical rest but psychological wellbeing, spiritual development and, ultimately, peaceful transition through death. By attending carefully to bed placement, colour, light, air quality, organisation and symbolic elements, we create sanctuaries supporting the full spectrum of human experience.
The cultural traditions explored in this discussion, from Mexican deathbed practices to Chinese ancestral veneration, remind us that the relationship between rest, death and wellbeing transcends any single culture. These universal human concerns deserve thoughtful attention, particularly in contemporary Western societies that often avoid contemplating mortality until crisis forces the issue.
Perhaps the greatest gift of studying feng shui for bedrooms through the lens of death is the clarification it brings to life. By confronting mortality consciously and designing spaces supporting peaceful transition, we paradoxically become freer to live authentically and fully. We recognise that each day matters, each relationship holds significance and the quality of our being surpasses the quantity of our possessions.
The bedroom awaits: not as a space to fear or ignore but as a sanctuary to nurture, a teacher to heed and a portal supporting our daily journeys between waking and sleeping, living and, eventually, dying. May we design these spaces, and live within them, with the wisdom, care and reverence they deserve.
About Jan Cisek, the capital feng shui expert
Jan Cisek is an environmental psychologist (MSc) and feng shui expert with over 45 years of experience in harmonising living and working spaces. He is currently pursuing a PhD at Liverpool John Moores University, with his research titled Feng Shui Application in Bedroom and Workplace Designs: A Scientific Study of Personal and Transpersonal Preferences. His work bridges ancient feng shui wisdom with modern scientific understanding, exploring how environmental design influences both personal wellbeing and transpersonal experiences.
Jan holds a diploma in Practical Spirituality and Wellness, the first Ofqual-accredited vocational qualification in this evidence-based discipline in the United Kingdom. Through his consulting practice in London, UK, he has helped countless individuals and organisations create environments supporting health, productivity and psychological flourishing. His unique combination of scientific training and decades of feng shui practice allows him to translate traditional principles into contemporary applications grounded in environmental psychology research.
For more information about Jan’s work, please visit: https://www.fengshuilondon.net/about-jan-cisek-feng-shui-consultant/
More info:
Spirit Release in Feng Shui Context: Finding Balance in Our Inner and Outer Worlds
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Summary of Rev. Dr Martin Israel’s “Exorcism and Deliverance”
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